Grill Me Download on the App Store

Ten minutes. One decision.

Stress-test the decision you keep avoiding

Bring something you are actually about to do: quit, buy, move, hire. The Officer asks the questions you have been walking around, one at a time, and he does not accept an answer that moves the goalposts. At the end you get a verdict in writing, not a summary of what you said.

Download on theApp Store iPhone. Three Grills free, no account.
  • 1decision per session
  • 4 to 22questions, he decides
  • 0recordings kept
The Officer on the welcome screen of the iPhone app

How a Grill works

  1. 1Bring one decision.

    Not a topic, a decision. "Should I leave my job for freelance work" beats "my career".

  2. 2Answer out loud, or type.

    He asks one question at a time. Numbers survive; slogans do not.

  3. 3Read the verdict.

    What held, what burned, what is still open, and the one assumption you never checked.

A verdict, not a summary

Most tools hand your own words back in a tidier order. This one takes a position. Every claim you made comes back marked: it held, it burned, or it is still open, with the reason and the sentence it came from. You can disagree with it. That is the point of having something to disagree with.

  • 1held
  • 0burned
  • 1open
A Grill Report with the verdict and the tally of claims

Your voice never leaves your iPhone

Speech becomes text on the device, and the recording is never uploaded, never stored and never sent anywhere. What reaches the server is the text of your answers and nothing else. No account, no advertising identifier, no tracking across other apps.

Share the verdict, keep the topic

The Officer's judgement makes a card worth sending. The topic stays yours: one switch decides whether the person you send it to sees what the decision was about.

The share card, with the verdict and a switch for the topic

What it costs

Three Grills are free, and they are whole Grills rather than a trailer. After that, Pro: as many decisions as you have, longer interrogations, and he stops when he is certain rather than when he runs out of questions. Weekly or annual, cancel in the App Store.

Questions people ask before they start

What kind of decisions does this work on?

The ones with a number in them and a date attached. Quitting, buying, moving, hiring, taking the offer, ending the contract. It works badly on "should I be happier", because there is nothing to check.

Is it really free to try?

Three complete Grills, no account and no card. The paywall arrives after the third one, which is late enough that you already know whether it is worth anything.

Does it record my voice?

No. Speech becomes text on your iPhone and the audio is never uploaded. There is nothing to delete later because there was never a recording to keep.

Is this just a chatbot with a prompt?

It is one character with one job and a written output he has to produce. He asks one question at a time, holds what you said earlier against what you say next, and ends with a verdict he has to defend. A chat window will agree with you if you push; this is built not to.

Which languages does he speak?

Nine: English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Simplified and Traditional Chinese, Korean and Japanese. He is written in each of them rather than translated into them, so the insults land in the right language.

Is there an Android version?

Not today. iPhone only, iOS 26 or newer.

Bring him a decision

Download on theApp Store